I knew I was in a spiritual funk but I didn’t realize what it was all about until I was sitting with 1200 other people in front of Dr. Brian Weiss and having one of the most intense healing meditations of my life. I had spiritual teacher burnout. It probably lasted a good six months or longer. There were moments of identity crisis. The same girl who use to carry oracle cards in her purse daily just didn’t have any fucks to give about manifesting and meditation. Rituals and magic lost their appeal. I watched friends and people in my social groups sharing about magic, alignment, manifestation and felt a little off for not being pumped up on all of it. I still respected it all. I just tucked it all away as my simple backup tools for when shit gets rough.
I wondered what would happen to all my spiritual mentor training and work. Was it all for nothing? Should I have considered it good fun. Was I being silly the whole time? I really was perplexed. But I knew that the worst thing to do would be to force myself to do things that didn’t feel right. I knew that I had to be authentic to what I was going through rather than faking the funk. So my focus turned to my family, my work and relaxing for once in my life. I unfollowed, unfriended and unsubscribed from anything that bugged me. I realized I was following a few people only because I noticed that other people really loved and praised them. But when I was honest with myself I knew that their vibe didn’t match mine and I was only trying to follow to analyze why I didn’t like them. This was a waste of energy and another topic of discussion.
When the flyer for Dr. Brian Weiss’ event came in the mail I put it in spot that I would see often. I’ve been wanting to see this man since last summer when his books got me through weeks of waiting out a missed miscarriage. I quickly jumped on the early bird tickets and looked forward to the day.
The day of the event I sat next in a row with a married couple and three women from the area I grew up in. I’m still figuring out what being flanked by the North OC crew means, but it was the one male in row that helped me have an ah-ha moment. He was one of very few men at the event, but he was so stoked on Dr. Brian Weiss. He chatted with me during breaks and at one point he just poured out adoration for Dr. Weiss. As he was pouring out praise I looked over at Dr. Weiss sitting calmly in his chair on stage. He looked like he was meditating or sleeping! The man is so chill. Honestly it’s how you must be if you are going to take 1200 people through a group hypnosis. But it was the love and compassion that my row mate was picking up on. It was refreshing. It was the opposite of the energy you see from so many people these days.
That’s when I realized I’ve been (voluntarily) stewing in a soup of spiritual teachers, authors, ‘experts’ and other entrepreneurs that are all shouting at the world via every avenue available. Everywhere I turn their they are. In my inbox first thing in the morning, in my YouTube feed, my Facebook newsfeed, my groups, even posting quotes on Instagram. Heck, I could even fit into this category. Something I love about this time is the emergence of a generation that loves to share. I also love that so much information is so easily available. But it’s too much. It’s too tiring to try and keep up with every expert. In a time where free online trainings, ebooks and conference calls are used as a funnel for sales it is easy to suffocate in an avalanche of free and often valuable information. I noticed myself holding onto emails that didn’t even resonate with me at the time. Mostly business related. I wanted to have them to turn back to when I got to that point in my business. Often times I wasn’t even working on my business and was unsure where it was even headed, but you know, just in case. The same applied to the spiritual knowledge. I felt this need to know it all even if it didn’t apply to me. As I slowly sifted it all out of my life I noticed how much happier I was. The FOMO and comparison was really draining my energy. Being that I have a hard time going too long without learning I started an Audible membership. At first I indulged in some of my favorite fiction and would listen to it while playing Tetris. It was like being a kid again. Then I added in carefully curated books on business, spirituality and personal development.
I wasn’t particularly inspired or ga-ga over anyone or their message until I attended The Shine, an event created by some of my friends. Dallas Clayton was the speaker for the night. As he rolled on the floor and basically acted like a 5 year old trapped in a man’s body I laughed and reaffirmed that this was the type of spiritual life I wanted to live right now. No rules, no preaching, take away the complication and invite in the childlike wonder. Then a month or so later there was Dr. Brian Weiss to pull it all together for me. You can be a successful healer and teacher by simply offering healing and love. We did a psychometry exercise and a few pairs of people stood up and shared the most insane and chilling experiences. Dr. Weiss did not blow it up, there was no drama, just love and listening. Maybe in his 30 plus years of doing this work nothing surprises him, maybe it is just his nature. It’s hard to explain the clarity and gentleness that comes from this man. All I know is that it was what I needed to see and experience. If you are feeling burnt out from anything in your life take this as your permission to unplug and join me on the chill train. Because, what would the world look like if we were all Tony Robbins?
Watch my vlog from the Many Lives, Many Masters event here.